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What comes up when you see the phrase “treat yourself better”? Not to be confused with the "Treat Yo' Self" approach that Donna and Tom had on Parks and Rec (It's the best day of the year!)...treating yourself better is about about self-compassion and self-kindness. It's treating yourself like you would a good friend and not letting the inner critic take you down, which sounds great in theory, but can be misconstrued as lowering standards and escaping responsibility.

Self-compassion isn't either of those things. It is a practical, learnable skill that changes how your brain and nervous system respond to stress, frustration, and difficult moments.

If you want to treat yourself better in a way that actually supports your resilience and capacity, consider these five simple questions:

1. How am I talking to myself right now?​
Your inner dialogue is not harmless background noise. Repeated self-criticism is processed by the brain as both truth and threat, which increases stress and narrows thinking. A gentler tone creates more flexibility and clarity.

2. What do I need right now?​
Needs are not weaknesses. They are signals. Pausing to ask this question engages your thinking brain in a supportive way and helps interrupt the belief that your value comes only from performance.

3. What is my body telling me that my brain isn’t noticing?​
The body often detects overload before the mind does. Tension, shallow breathing, heaviness, or restlessness are information. Small physical adjustments can help regulate your system more quickly than analysis.

4. Who or what reminds me that I’m not alone in this?​
Struggle easily becomes personal and isolating. Recognizing shared human experience — through conversation, stories, books, or even a podcast — can be deeply regulating and reduce shame.

5. What can I allow myself right now?​
Permission is not quitting. It is realism. Releasing rigid expectations and constant pressure often creates the psychological flexibility needed for sustainable change.

Notice that none of these practices require dramatic effort.

Simple practices are powerful precisely because they are repeatable. And repetition — not intensity — is what creates lasting shifts in habit and belief.

Choose one question. Experiment with it for a few days or a week. Observe what changes.

If you’d like more details and the science behind how these work:

>> Listen to the podcast here​
>> Read the blog post here​

Remember that self-compassion grows through small moments of awareness and recalibration, not perfection. It takes practice, but in time, it creates the environment you need to build a more sustainable, compassionate way of living.

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♥

Lisa

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